"I couldn't believe it!" exclaimed Helen Madsen. "Everyone knows you only talk about work when you go to lunch – especially when you go with me."
This embarrassing incident happened at TGI Friday's last week when Keith Hendrickson went to lunch with three co-workers. Keith said, "I was having a rough day and honestly forgot the rule."
By all accounts, Keith repeatedly brought up Monday Night Football even though others would want to talk about work. Helen said, “Right when we would change the subject to the new organizational chart, he would start talking about football again. I was flabbergasted.”
Due to this behavior, Helen has asked him to not join the lunch group for the next two weeks. Keith admitted, “Yeah, I definitely deserve the lunch probation.”
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Incoming Sales Associates Will Be Much Smarter
According to high-ranking sources inside Widgets Corp LLC, Inc., the newest class of sales associates are much better than those in previous years.
"We think we finally got it right this time," said HR Director Jennifer Smith. "Last year was kind of a dry run. We took the bottom of the barrel in order to experiment on them. Now that we've worked the kinks out, we'll bring in the real talent. The sequel will be better than the original."
"Everything about them is better," agreed Silvia Lydon. "They're smarter, more skilled with people, more athletic, and most of all, better looking. Another glaring difference between the classes is that the new class has only had 2 members that have participated in AA and the current group has, well, a lot more than that," she added.
Current Widgets employees aren't so sure that the new class will measure up.
“Working at Widgets is way harder than it looks," said Jeremy Brown. "If these rookies think they can just come right in and be superstars, they've got another thing coming. We all know what happened to 'Saved by the Bell: The New Class'".
Only time will tell which class performs better, but look for the rivalry to heat up in the months to come.
"We think we finally got it right this time," said HR Director Jennifer Smith. "Last year was kind of a dry run. We took the bottom of the barrel in order to experiment on them. Now that we've worked the kinks out, we'll bring in the real talent. The sequel will be better than the original."
"Everything about them is better," agreed Silvia Lydon. "They're smarter, more skilled with people, more athletic, and most of all, better looking. Another glaring difference between the classes is that the new class has only had 2 members that have participated in AA and the current group has, well, a lot more than that," she added.
Current Widgets employees aren't so sure that the new class will measure up.
“Working at Widgets is way harder than it looks," said Jeremy Brown. "If these rookies think they can just come right in and be superstars, they've got another thing coming. We all know what happened to 'Saved by the Bell: The New Class'".
Only time will tell which class performs better, but look for the rivalry to heat up in the months to come.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Despite Company Slogan, Widgets Gets Same Results
Widgets Corp, LLC, Inc., known for it’s slogan “Better people, Better results”, recently announced it will actually get the “same results” this year, despite hiring “better people”.
Widgets spokesperson Tom Searson said it's time to realize that the statement may have been far fetched. "After consulting with several clients, we realized that we were doing just fine with the people we had."
Searson went on to admit the slogan was created after the committee ate Papa John’s pizza for lunch. “I guess we didn’t really think this one through,” admitted Searson. “Better ingredients do make better pizzas but that slogan format only works if you are making things people eat”.
Widgets will begin working on a new slogan campaign immediately. Rumor has it that the front runner is "We’re Pretty Good with Who We Have Now".
Written by John Garrett
Widgets spokesperson Tom Searson said it's time to realize that the statement may have been far fetched. "After consulting with several clients, we realized that we were doing just fine with the people we had."
Searson went on to admit the slogan was created after the committee ate Papa John’s pizza for lunch. “I guess we didn’t really think this one through,” admitted Searson. “Better ingredients do make better pizzas but that slogan format only works if you are making things people eat”.
Widgets will begin working on a new slogan campaign immediately. Rumor has it that the front runner is "We’re Pretty Good with Who We Have Now".
Written by John Garrett
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Manager Refuses to Accept Resignation
Cara Johnson weighed her options and decided a fresh start at a new company would be best for her. And she wanted to give her manager the customary two-week notice. "I told him this morning and all he said was, 'I can't accept your resignation'," Johnson said. "What the heck am I supposed to do now?"
Johnson's manager, Kyle Daniels, then told her, "I'll tell you what you're supposed to do now. How about finish that Accounts Receivable Aging Analysis?" Daniels then turned to reporters and said, "Nothing happens around here unless I say so. If Cara leaves Widgets, it will only be because it was my idea, not hers."
This is an unprecedented decision as it is the first time a manager has refused to accept a resignation in the history of Widgets Corp LLC, Inc. The Human Resources Department is not sure of the protocol. "We are reaching out to our peers. Until then, Cara is going to have to continue to work here," said an HR spokesperson. "I'm sure she will come to realize she really doesn't really want to leave Widgets. The other company is offering a promotion and more pay. Is that stuff really that important?"
Johnson's manager, Kyle Daniels, then told her, "I'll tell you what you're supposed to do now. How about finish that Accounts Receivable Aging Analysis?" Daniels then turned to reporters and said, "Nothing happens around here unless I say so. If Cara leaves Widgets, it will only be because it was my idea, not hers."
This is an unprecedented decision as it is the first time a manager has refused to accept a resignation in the history of Widgets Corp LLC, Inc. The Human Resources Department is not sure of the protocol. "We are reaching out to our peers. Until then, Cara is going to have to continue to work here," said an HR spokesperson. "I'm sure she will come to realize she really doesn't really want to leave Widgets. The other company is offering a promotion and more pay. Is that stuff really that important?"
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